Babe in white sheets

a post from my little one and shes only 9 mths and 26 days!

2009-12-30T12:50:00.002+08:00

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ding dong

2009-11-25T16:30:00.002+08:00

its been such a long time since i blogged. somehow, i have been more interested in my new social network, yes, the facebook. I am totally convinced that there is no way to escape technology. you have to upgrade or get lost.

I am so missing myself recently, i have had encounters of the worst kind and best kind during this past 2 years. sometimes i forget to accept and forgive myself and Jin that the past 2 years have been terrible stressful. Imagine, getting married, carrying a baby, preparations for the future, finding our place to settle in, the countless ways to maintain relationships, especially with the in laws, Jin chnaging job, having the baby, taking care of the little one, and most of all trying to be the best wife, mother, daughter, friend, lover and after all that, trying to remember the part of me that loved the freedom of travel, expression and choice.

The journey does not end. people say, it ends when u die. I believe , it does not end at all. All things said and done lives on for eternity. Imagine, who i am to my daughter would determine the person she will grow up to. will detrmine the person she will marry, will determine, the way she brings up her child.

Sometimes, i am afriad, that i lack the wisdom of words. I simply let go and forget that who i want to be. I say the wrong words or let go and continue in my selfish search for what i assume is my temporial pleasure. Alex, i know you would say, there is no right and wrong, Gsh i can hear your voice whispering in my ear. maybe you are right. so starting with the end in mind, i see jin and i growing old together. grandkids. long walks and swims. baking cookies and cakes decorations. Making gifts and toys. bringing the kiddies outings. travelling. adventures of peaceful kind..... everything i love. all in a nutshell.

so here i am signing out and sending love to all. i heart you. Sarah.

Journals of the hot mama

2009-09-15T19:24:00.002+08:00

yes i kinda feel hot. not only the weather hot and also feeling good about how my life has turned out. and that feeling makes me feel super sexy.

l

2009-08-24T15:19:00.003+08:00

woah i have not been blogging for a long time. Dawn is now almost 6mths old, 7.36kg and growing really well. she keeps changing everyday i see her. its an almost visible difference. babies grow really fast. it is so good to carry your own child in your arms. even while on holiday, i cannot help and still i think of her. seeing her yabber and coos and her has this rrrrrrs that comes out from her mouth when shes happy. a bit like having a bird in the room. as these noises make me soo happy. shes so cute like nice and round. exciting to see how she turns out to be.

as usual we just came back from our quarterly getaways. doing nothing except shopping and yes, food! yumms. i swear, i just put on another 2 kg. i dare not even weigh myself for fear of seeing my current weight. i have gtta do something about it! let me see.....take part in a marathon. eat salad. ..ideal weight.55kg. daily dammits :( discipline here i come.

ok now heres something, we have been talking about takin a family pic together. and it came up recently someone is looking for models in a family advert. and asked jin if he could model for a family scene, with wife and baby. i think sounds like a good idea. dun be surprised if u see us pop up all over the busstops in singapore hahaha that would be fun.

i am so eagerly awaitng our new place to complete. i hope its soon. cannot wait to get away from the monster in law. and speaking about this, an advice for all you new couples, make sure that you have your own place before you marry! trust me. staying with the mother in law is gonna be the worst decision you ever made. i am making this a rule for Dawn when she gets married.

will blog more when i more time. love, sarah

my favourite thing

2009-05-15T15:06:00.002+08:00

she s my little puppy. my little baby girl. and shes sooo cute and shiok to cuddle and carry :) heheheheh it is all worth it. even the night feeds that gives me my curent eye bags. last weekend we gave her her first crew haircut cause Jin says we must... to increase her hair volume. i think she did not know what was happeneng a bit like what Goldie feels when he goes to the groomers for his hair cut. hehehe. i know , funny how i always make comparisons with Goldie. well, she is like a little doll in my arms.

she came out at 2.44kg and now she is almost 6kg already. she definately has long legs and arms... very much like me i'd say ...and pretty long eye lashes... just like Daddy. it is the greatest feeling in the world to pick my little Dawn up , put her to my face and smell her wonderfl baby smell :)

i am so totally in love.

2009-04-26T18:09:00.005+08:00

this is it. where everything is supposed to add up. well, not really. i am still living. alive? dun know. i sometimes feel chained locked up. robotic. clautrophic. a mother, wife, daughter, career woman,... i seem to have lost my balance somewhere. being a mother is a burden. it's heavy. i have to care for someone else besides myself. her well being, whether she is taking enough and even ....has she pooped? 2-3hours. yes i work within those timeframes. those are Dawn's feeding times. during the intervals, i cramp in laundry, market research, ebay shopping, lunch and dinners. it is a simple life. i am not used to it.

The act of leaving the house without the baby and just hanging out at borders or even slipping into office for meetings are like a little pieces of heaven freedom. how could i have fogotten how i love my work? the feeling of closing and completion? so satisfying. i miss it.

so now, i am awaiting the period where she can start attending childcare.... in 18mths! and thats a long time. so here are things i want to set up in the next 1 mth. with or without the hubbs. i will find a way.

1. exercise regime. 2 times a week.
2. complete my driving lessons. test date in august.
3. start connecting with old friends.

2009-02-26T17:30:00.000+08:00

i am sooo bloody hungry again!

31dec2008

2009-01-06T14:48:00.002+08:00

it is the end of the year again and this year seem to go pass the fastest.
The greatest newsof all is that i am going to be a mummy. Yes I got married in October and I have now, my own little family. Eujin is his name and he is wonderful. My dad is still pretty much the same. He is content just sitting in front of the TV and dog sitting. Yes you heard me right. He takes care of the doggies…all 3 of them. Goldie has a nasty problem on his ear and went in for surgery and we were worried but dad takes really great care of him. He would be a wonderful grandpa to my little girl.

Mummy is still very busy acting and singing. And she gets paid for doing a show with the LIVE IT UP crew. Shes a paid actress. And shes good. She was even featured in the magazine and newspaper. I think she is the real star in our family. I love my folks and I keep telling them everyday.

I worry most about my brother. He is strong. I know that. we all do. Somehow, I sense that the strength sort of imperfect. The imperfection does not require a solution. It is an opening that is needed. He has not found it yet. The search still goes on. it is urgent. I am upset and disappointed that he did not quite find it in tcc. i had high expectations. They were not met.

I had the most wonderful wedding. The people I cared most about were there. And the most important of all I felt was that I has such a great time and I have never been so pampered before in my life. Most of all by my darling, hubby. He made it all so memorable. He had his friends do the flowers and car and photography. He did the logistics and montage and all the other tiny details including the our song. “The love of a lifetime” by Firehouse. he made it such a breeze for me. hes there for me everyday when i wake up. and i take a line from the Jerry mcquire movie and say that ..."he completes me".

My mum had a big part to play also in the tea ceremony. She arranged for all the tiniest details. From the food catering, to the seating, to the home arrangement, to the presiding of the ceremony, to directing the entire tea ceremony.

I am truly loved. If all else fails, I will remember today. That day.

Today as I am seated here, 28 weeks pregnant, married and starting out the next year, what I would like to see is to get our own place. to have a smooth delivery. To make a successful transition from the first part of next year to the second. I suspect the first part would require me to cope with the new family and the home looking and moving. the second part of which would be to translate the first part of home success to work success.

so jin and I will be doing our first collage together. I am looking forward to everyday of 2009.

my birthday wish

2008-11-05T12:27:00.001+08:00

my beautiful baby girl :)

tomorrow 19/10/2008

2008-10-18T20:11:00.001+08:00

i am going through the tea ceremony and the wedding dinner. today we got our wedding bands. I am feeling nervous. apprehensive. frustrated. i feel a part of me screaming.. let me go...let me out..freedom...freedom and a part of me loving this man, every part of him, anticipating our journey together, waking up to a refreshing day with him everyday. the relationship recently has been terribly painful , frustrating and strained. And the conscious part of me can somehow feel a huge dark monster, The saboteur hovering above me making it extremely easy for me to react to the already strained situation. I do not have my usual consciousness by my side. instead while trying not to react to the external situation and remaining silent is not exactly the positive reaction to adhere to. and when i speak, i say the wrong things. and as you already know in this world, there are things that can be thought about but never spokened. Or rather we have to learn to be polite and NOT tell the truth cause the truth hurts. and it makes speaking it deeply painful for them to hear because when the truth hits a nerve, they take it personally and project it upon themselves. silly folks.

Pregnancy's pleasant surprises - 17 weeks pregnant

2008-10-16T02:49:00.003+08:00

Here's a little perk that no one told you about pregnancy: The sight of a pregnant woman brings out the civility in people. Grocery baggers suddenly volunteer to help you out to your car. People fall over themselves to hold doors open for you. Men proffer cherished seats on train and buses. Everyone smiles at you. Enjoy it while it lasts! Such niceties, along with these other pregnancy-related pleasures, may only last a few more months:

Fast-growing fingernails: Sometime around the fourth month, your nails may start to grow faster than usual. Pregnancy hormones get the credit!

not noticebly yet

A luxuriant head of hair: During the second trimester, you might notice that your hair looks extra healthy and full. You're not actually growing more hair — thanks to pregnancy hormones, you're just losing less.

think so i always have a full head of hair

The proverbial "glow": Also during the second trimester, you may notice that your skin looks brighter than usual. Hormones are partly responsible, but an increase in blood volume also brings more blood to the skin, giving it a luminescent look.

definately, my skin looks good

A newly ample bosom: It's common to go up a cup size or two during your pregnancy, so you may have some new cleavage to show off!

absolutely!

A turned-on mate: Believe it or not, your guy may be loving your new physique. Men tend to see the sensuality in blossoming breasts and soft curves. Plus, the sight of your pregnant form is a constant reminder of his virility.

definately! :)

dwelling in my space

2008-10-03T12:49:00.003+08:00

i am selfish. i like thing done my way . and if it does not, i cancel it and walk away. i continue the same cycle over and over again. sometimes, i get really angry and confront the toxic shit. at times, i just walk away quietly to save myself the insanity of screaming at the other person. i am not a nice person. i have my opinions and choose to lead my life the way i want it. i am spoilt. unless it is in my favour, why bother. i calculate my risk and select my prey. my weaponry often consists of charm, attention, intuition and inspiration. to my advantage. i am lazy. i hate stupid people. they irritate me to no end. i pretty much like them to leave me alone. i am not generous by nature. however, i like to energize a fellow being to see a geniune smile of his /her face. i love the warm smell of my hubby's skin on my face. i like seeing my brother happy. i love an expected phone call from an old friend. i want to be comfortable. i love the color of goldie when he runs in the sun. the quiet smell of the wind before rain. i hate people who keep apologizing. it holds no value to me. if you have something to say , just say it. i do not have a big heart. i want my own space. i do not want to talk to toxic people. they poison my mind and soul. i am clearing a space for my baby. i want him to grow up in an environment of peace and love. if u come near me or my baby with your shit, i will kill you.

i am gonna be a momma!

2008-09-29T16:59:00.002+08:00

cannot believe it, after all the times we keep at it . wahahahah... God certainly has a sense of timing.

so that means Jin and I are gonna be parents immediately after we marry!

:D

Now i gotta worry about fitting into my gown. :P

who pressed the fast forward button?

2008-09-14T00:29:00.002+08:00

not possible to plan and complete a wedding in 1 month?

2008-09-03T14:32:00.001+08:00

you wanna bet?

the survivor

2008-08-19T23:02:00.005+08:00

holding my breath. awaiting signs of the next successful progress. it is just all so exciting. just having it all in me. Jin looked like he was about to burst into tears. i will marry him. a new journey for me. experience of coupledom. familyhood. children. grandparents. my gift to myself. my road has changed. is changing. i am preparing myself to walk this way. i am moving. fast forward. scary. and simply in awe. how did all this happen?

what is love?

2008-08-14T02:12:00.003+08:00

something i read over the internet and made me smile. as i proceed into life and my relationships with my family and people around me, my defination of love changes.

the stuff that i think i would not do, i do why? because i love.
the stuff that does not make sense, I continue to hold on. Why? because i love
the stuff that turns around and bites me after i have given my lovingness and all, i stay and wish it well. why? becuase i love.

Silly me. why on earth would i allow that? is there any fun in life without completely being consumed by it fully and completely? So what is it like to fall completely in love so much. letting myself go. looking at the beautiful sky today while taking my 3rd driving lesson. there is so much beauty in this world if only i could show you from my eyes what i see, you will understand why it does not matter. the angry words, the unhappiness, the pain. I happen to choose to be in the moment of awe with God. with nature.

Human minimises
Nature maximises

i trust that all is well with you in your journey. my journey is short. i may not live long enough to see the changes happen in this world. At the same time, i am grateful for the time with you everyday. Thank you for allowing me to love me.

So heres the story : -

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.

See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."Rebecca- age 8

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6 (We need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt."Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image) Karen - age 7

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.People forget." Jessica - age 8

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"

The Pygmalion effect

2008-08-11T16:24:00.000+08:00

More commonly known as the "teacher-expectancy effect" refers to situations in which students perform better than other students simply because they are expected to do so.

The Pygmalion effect requires a student to internalise the expectations of their superiors. It is a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy, and in this respect, students with poor expectations internalise their negative label, and those with positive labels succeed accordingly. Within sociology, the effect is often cited with regards to education and social class.

my beautiful mom

2008-07-03T17:36:00.002+08:00

at east coast running

2008-07-01T15:45:00.003+08:00

i am not my body
my body is not me
my limbs are moving
is that me?

me

2008-06-26T18:02:00.005+08:00

give the best that i can give
to allow music to stir my soul
the deliciousness of every moment
smells of freshness everyday
my spirit be touched
eye popping experience
vibrant colors of life
feast for my senses
my passions are stirred
my intentions are powerful
my people and i are well and loved
i am wonderful
i am at peace
and i am grateful, now
be inspiration.

the secret to the art of living and all success and happiness is

2008-06-26T17:54:00.004+08:00

ONE WITH LIFE.

being one with life is being one with NOW. You then realize that u don't live your life, but life lives you. Life is the dancer and You are the dance.

- eckhart tolle

break ups

2008-06-25T17:45:00.002+08:00

so let me count...4, all together, as of today, since early last week. that is the number of break ups in my circle. i do not like break ups, it upsets me to see them in pain. what i wanna say is,.... let it out. shout. scream. yell. them them about what you really wanna say. express yourself out loud. complete the circle. let them know. and then, put this angst to good use. set aside time to give those people a memorial. the kind you would if this person had died literally. create for them a memory and put the good stuff you shared and the bad. complete the process. and let them die. wish them well and throw their " ashes" to where they wanna be. Bless them as you send them off. Ask for their blessings in return. respect their graves. they are dead. they are not coming back. move away slowly. in respect. bow. cleanse you face, body and breathe in the fresh air. cleanse your spirit. walk. feel the gravel on the ground. hear the sounds of your surroundings. you are walking and moving. you are moving on.

In dedication to :
CY.
PKW.
AA.
ML.

broken record

2008-06-24T12:16:00.004+08:00

so i am currently faced with a "broken record" at work. the nagging just gets to me. i am just glad it always come in a form of an email. thus it makes me happy to click, delete, delete, delete...heheheh

i am

2008-06-20T17:41:00.002+08:00

so f*cking glad to be alive and breathing. I can feel my lungs fill up with air, the wind in my hair, the color of the sky, the smell of roses and greens. if there is a time i want to remember it is Today. Today i live for me.

The word is anticipation.

nervous energy

2008-06-17T11:06:00.002+08:00

i am all set and ready. i can feel it, it is coming i know all i can do is to watch my saboteur. she is on the verge of letting out and go. it has been a long time since i let her out to play. it is almost fun to watch. Last night i went out with the bunch of girlies to bala...it has been such a long time since i had so much fun teasing and being teased. i am just happy to be there.
Jin is wonderful and i think he is going to be the one for me. I think i am quite sure about it. afterall, life is a matter of choice right? so, still at that thought, i came out with 100 things to do before i die. will create new blog for it.

bliss

2008-06-03T18:15:00.001+08:00

thats the word.

Changes

2008-05-07T17:21:00.001+08:00

i thought to do a quick update on what is happening... the one closest to my heart right now are that my family is well . all of them. Vincent is going through a period of looking into his health and we are awaiting his results on some test he has takened up. he is a strong man. he is fine. though sometime, i worry about him. you know, sometimes when a person is too strong, there is a part that makes him weak? well i care about that part. Mum is still doing her stuff and is practically all over the place ...therapy sessions, karaoke, massagies, Club and ....whatever u can think of...including her ballroom and stuff. all is well. though i woud love for her to be more affectionate, physically. Dad is dad. he is the Dad, strong silent kind. his communication is short and sharp. after living with him for many years, it is "easy" for me to always assume what he likes or does not. they are fine. and i miss goldie.

Yes i am now living with jin at his place and we are fine. it is normal. i guess this is what couples do. i cannot seem to find the appropriate word to describe us except that it would be great to have some drama or scene sometime. if you know mw well enough, u know that i crave excitement and new adventure. i miss that.

Work or rather i call my ,major activity at this moment is soothing almost to point of ease. i must have surprised myself when i brought in my 3 months targets in 1 week. you know , in my line of work, you cannot imagine when the next business comes in. you just do what u do and everything falls into place. wonderful!

so i ask myself, what would i want now and i am not sure what t ask for . somehow, i have seen the ability of the universe in its capability to answer and it scares and keeps me in awe. I am happy.

and thank you once again for all. i love you :) you always hold me up so that i can stand tall always.

In the patriot

2008-04-29T14:00:00.003+08:00

She stood up, says "i know all of us are just as patriotic as i. Will you now stop at nothing just when u are needed the most?"

i don't wanna be a hero

2008-04-24T01:40:00.002+08:00

i really don't. i do not want to take on the responsibility of the world on my shoulders. i do not want to deal with the "shit" i have to put up with everyday.

miraculous lives

2008-04-23T14:16:00.003+08:00

i am just pondering over a book i read from Stephen Covey about the principles that you set about for yourself and i remember not too long ago something i promised myself about living miraculous lives. so which bring me to my own questioning, a skill i often use... hahah laugh as you might, yes i enjoy a good conversation, especially with myself.
What do i define as miraculous lives?
How do i know when i am living it?
What is a miracle?
How do i work miracles from here?
Who am i being when that happens?
tell me about the time i was being a miracle?
that i was a miracle for someone?
how did the person feel?
How many times do i want it to happen?
why do i want to live a miraculous life?
just a quick check in the dictionary best describe a miracle as....

Miracle

1.	an effect or extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause.

2.	such an effect or event manifesting or considered as a work of God.

3.	a wonder; marvel.

4.	a wonderful or surpassing example of some quality: a miracle of modern acoustics.

shiokness

2008-04-15T13:56:00.007+08:00

so shiok to complete my feb mar april targets in one morning. in 45mins. and i did not even pay for breakfast.

i love my work.

bought lunch with selina. she's leaving. could not eat. breakfast was too much.

got 2 new dresses.

cannot help thinking.....whoa...i am good. and getting better.

:)

help!

2008-04-08T17:31:00.001+08:00

i am so so so dying for another holiday. help me i am a holiaddict.

the 9 Laws of persuasion

2008-03-26T13:14:00.002+08:00

1. law of reciprocity - when someone gives you something of percieved value, you immediately respond with the desire to give something back.

2. law of contrast - when 2 items are relatively different from each other, we will see them as more different if placed close together in time or space.

3. law of friends - when someone asks you to do something and u percieve that person to have your best interest in mind, you are strongly motivated to fulfil the request.

4. law of expectancy - when someone whom you believe in or respect expects you to perform a task or produce a certain result you will tend to fulfill his expectation whether positive or negative.

5. law of association - we tend like products, services or ideas that are endorsed by other people we like or respect.

6. law of consistency - when an individual announces in writing or verbally that he is taking a position on any issue or point of view, he will strongly tend to defend that belief regardless of its accuracy even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary

7. law of scarcity - when a person perceives that something he might want is limited in quantity, he believes that the value of what he might want is greater than if it were available in abundance.

8. law of conformity - most people tend to agree to proposals, products or services that will be perceived as acceptable by the majority of other people or a majority of an individual's peer group.

9. law of power - people have power over other people to the degree that they are percieved as having greater authority, strenght or expertise.

i miss me

2008-03-23T18:35:00.002+08:00

it has been such a long time since and i miss you. hold you with me together. i see you are asleep when i came in and i smile when i see your face. my will to be alive and free is strong. the paradox of it is that i am looking for new skills to fill that void you left. and the first thing i should do is get my bloody driving liciense!

I can't remember when you weren't there
When I didn't care for anyone but you
I swear we've been through everything there is
Can't imagine anything we've missed
Can't imagine anything the two of us can't do

Through the years, you've never let me down
You turned my life around, the sweetest days I've found
I've found with you ... Through the years
I've never been afraid, I've loved the life we've made
And I'm so glad I've stayed, right here with you
Through the years

I can't remember what I used to do
Who I trusted, who I listened to before
I swear you taught me everything I know
Can't imagine needing someone so
But through the years it seems to me
I need you more and more

Through the years, through all the good and bad
I KNOW how much we had, I've always been so glad
To be with you ... Through the years
It's better every day, you've kissed my tears away
As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you
Through the years

Through the years, when everything went wrong
Together we were strong, I know that I belong
Right here with you ... Through the years
I never had a doubt, we'd always work things out
I've learned what life's about, by loving you
Through the years

Through the years, you've never let me down
You've turned my life around, the sweetest days I've found
I've found with you ... Through the years
It's better every day, you've kissed my tears away
As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you
Through the years...

my new name cards

2008-03-11T17:41:00.004+08:00

decided to make my orders for my new namecards. and what i like most about it is the words behind that come with it.in fact all 3 boxes come in different shades of blue. Now, that's fun for me. and on the back, we have...

Expert Advice . Lifelong Relationships . Delivering Results
OR
Simplify . Create . Grow

Results are out

2008-02-25T16:42:00.010+08:00

We are still the most profitable IFA in Singapore. 3 years running.

A DNA of a winner has to developed
Money will run to the place that gives the best value
Develop your own judgement for your business
With one look, you must know who will do business with you.
- Goh Yang Chye 25/2/08

Note : IFA = Independent Financial Adviser

you decorated my life

2008-02-17T04:31:00.003+08:00

All my life was a paper once plain, pure and white
Till you moved with your pen changin' moods now and then
Till the balance was right
Then you added some music, ev'ry note was in place
And anybody could see all the changes in me by the look on my face

And you decorated my life, created a world where dreams are a apart
And you decorated my life by paintin' your love all over my heart
You decorated my life

Like a rhyme with no reason in an unfinished song
There was no harmony life meant nothin' to me, until you came along
And you brought out the colors, what a gentle surprise
Now I'm able to see all the things life can be shinin' soft in your eyes

And you decorated my life, created a world where dreams are a part
And you decorated my life by paintin' your love all over my heart
You decorated my life

i love you.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!

2008-02-08T04:19:00.000+08:00

my DNA

2008-01-24T17:40:00.000+08:00

Make a right important decision.
A good life decision requires a commitment to growth.
People who are smart know how to explain only.
The same song sung by a experienced person sounds differently. the effect is different.
Gracious living is marked with luxury and ease. To live your life to the fullest.
- yang chye 21Jan08

i am an owner of a lonely heart

2008-01-11T13:22:00.000+08:00

shake shake twirl twirl slither down up so now Everybody, sing after me...

Move yourself
You always live your life
Never thinking of the future
Prove yourself
You are the move you make
Take your chances win or loser

See yourself
You are the steps you take
You and you - and that's the only way

Shake - shake yourself
You're every move you make
So the story goes

Owner of a lonely heart
Owner of a lonely heart
Much better than a
Owner of a broken heart
Owner of a lonely heart

Say - you don't want to chance it
You've been hurt so before

Watch it now
The eagle in the sky
How he dancin' one and only
You - lose yourself
No not for pity's sake
There's no real reason to be lonely
Be yourself
Give your free will a chance
You've got to want to succeed

Owner of a lonely heart
Owner of a lonely heart
Much better than - a
Owner of a broken heart
Owner of a lonely heart

Owner of a lonely heart

After my own indecision
They confused me so
Owner of a lonely heart
My love said never question your will at all
In the end you've got to go
Look before you leap
Owner of a lonely heart
And don't you hesitate at all - no no

Owner of a lonely heart
Owner of a lonely heart
Much better than - a
Owner of a broken heart
Owner of a lonely heart
(repeat)

Owner of a lonely heart

Sooner or later each conclusion
Will decide the lonely heart
Owner of a lonely heart
It will excite it will delight
It will give a better start
Owner of a lonely heart

Don't deceive your free will at all
Don't deceive your free will at all
Owner of a lonely heart
Don't deceive your free will at all
Just receive it

Now, take a bow people ! have a great day!

2008 Buzzword

2008-01-09T11:25:00.000+08:00

Earn as much as i can
Save as much as i can
Give as much as i can

Happy New Year!

2008-01-03T19:43:00.000+08:00

So here i am sitting beside the huge windows in my big office in one of the most prestigious buildings in singapore overlooking the building of the IR marina resorts and sea, i feel my heart thump thumping. my face is ready to break into a big smile. it is so good to be in the midst of everything moving. last year, seems like a long time ago, i immersed myself into the flow of making relationships work with dad, mum, my brother, with jin, with my clients, with my friends, with making new friends, with myself. i like myself. no, i love myself. i look at the skin that hosts all that is in me and i like it. i like the response from the people around me. i like being in love with my man. i like being in love with everything. i wanna sing at the top of my voice and dance as though there is no tommorow. i am in love. i love life! and if you are reading this, i wanna to remind you again that everything is working out in it's own time. and i mean EVERYTHING IS working out in it's own time. Amazes me shitless! ahahahahah! i love you, Sarah Fiona Kang! You make me fly!

i am a coward.

2007-12-27T13:00:00.000+08:00

disgusting

2007-12-22T05:43:00.000+08:00

what disgust me the most i realized is when people do not even try. they do not even bother. call it lazyness or whatever, i do not give A SHIT! It is almost like they have actually given up on themselves before any effort is taken. i HATE it! the bullshit they tell themselves.

mood : Bullshit! makes me frustrated and wanna cry. WTF? Itching to WHACK!
Note to self : control your temper

circle of life

2007-12-21T17:22:00.001+08:00

mum and i watched a ballet last night at the victoria theatre.

fell asleep in my chair and was rudely awakened by a commentary complimemts of 2 very singaporean aunties. will suggest to mum to get vinny to accompany her next time. besides, why would i enjoy watching a bunch of long, skinny legged girls in tights, doing the routine tip toe, leg raises and prancing around in white, gold and pink tutus ?

there were only 4 guys, or so i think they were ( they were in white very shinny tights - it was not a sight i would like to expose my kids to).

decided to spend more quality time with mum doing something else.

i do not appreciate ballet. thus did not surprise later when mum made a mention about my own ballet classes when i was young. which made me remember the other numerous swimming lessons, art classes, maths tuition, piano classes, chinese tuition, choir classes, tennis, ...etc etc... you name it , i probably had it.

mood : tired and anal. still have not closed shop for the year yet. 3 more applications to complete and submit before dec 28.
Note to self : be careful what i intend for next time.

all by myself

2007-12-18T15:04:00.001+08:00

the only reason that would prompt me to get my driving liciense is the freedom to blast the music way up high in the car and sing at the top of my voice and shrug my shoulders, move my butt, arms and pretend i am on stage.

what an orgasm!

bonuses

2007-12-18T14:42:00.000+08:00

i kept peering over my figures again and again. calculating if my numbers are correct. i have some more monies coming in. having said it, it may be too late at this time to count them in so i would not. on my simple calculations, i believe i would have hit my targets. having said it, u will never know until you know. so today, i am thinking of a simple tracking system for myself.

last minute work is bloody stressful!

romance of the 3 kingdoms

2007-12-12T17:48:00.000+08:00

stories of Liu Bei, Zhang fei, Guan Yu, cao cao... just formed images in my mind. he was an actor. he started to paint and express his thoughts about the characters in the book. i was sitting on my bed enchanted and fascinated like a little girl as i watched him. he told me stories of how cao cao recruited all those people. what kind of power they must have had in those days. what was their downfall. it is almost like a mini story land on my bed and in the car. he not only stole my heart, he now steals my imagination. he constantly surprises me .. i look at myself and i realise that i have truly fallen in love with him. yes i am in love. i have never really said this before and something in me breaks each time i say it. almost like it is too much for me to bear. i think back of all the things i heard about love.. nothing quite compares to being it, Love, that is.

heros and heroines, conquorer and conquest, that driving force that pushes everything to go the way it does only stems from 2 sources, Love or Fear. there i believe is no other.

i was on the train today and i watched everyone the way i do all the time. just observing and reading their mannerism, their outfits, the way they talk and move thinking about his question last night. when he asked me again and again.... Dar, in your life, you must always have a challenge and all things said, What is Your Greatest Challenge in Life?. I was stumped for a moment and i thought i could simply escape by doing the giggle, funny , get me outta here thingy. and he kept pushing on. he was right. i did not quite feel like i have a greatest challenge in fact i take life as it is on a roller coaster, it's ups and downs. and i deal with it. his question provokes me still.

here i am sitting in front of my lappy, waiting for my last appt for they day before heading out. i need just a little 40K worth of investments and then i am packing up for the hols.

and here is to wishing all of you to hurry up and get ready for the next year!
Love, Sarah

today, the wedding anniversary

2007-12-02T19:15:00.000+08:00

6 Dec 1971 - the day they legally married.
apparently, i was the honeymoon baby.
Mum got out her wedding cert to show us.
i made tauhu goreng and Vinny got the cake.
Mum's witness and Dad's witness apparently married each other (they are still very much together)
Dad bought Mum a diamond pearl pendant.

37 years and not counting.

:)

In celebration, i wanna say that my mum and dad are still doing the weekly date thingy at the club. my dad still plays tennis almost everyday and mum is still enjoying her dancing and holidays out with her khakis. they still tease each other especially about who has better taste. i figure must be both of them...they had my brother and i. good looks and charisma run in my family and thanks to them. we turned out alright.

thoughts

2007-11-30T00:44:00.000+08:00

responsibility is heavy.

..........sick sick sick............

2007-11-28T01:39:00.000+08:00

i cannot believe how fucking busy i make myself.

i want my moochies and huggies.

my golden retriever

2007-11-20T16:19:00.000+08:00

i did some running last week with goldie. yeah, goldie cannot run, rather he spurts and then slows down and the spurts again. what i notice is that he still continues to follow me even though i could see he was panting like crazy and even at 2 car lenghts behind, struggling to keep pace, he still continues moving... i know some dogs who would probaby sit and refuse to move. i am so proud of my doggie. he is 9 years old and according to some say, you have to multiply 7 times for his actual human age...which literally makes him 63years old! i love my doggie!

which makes me look at me, mself, i have realised long ago that i do not like to take the lead, rather i hate the responsibility of making that commitment and gearing everyone and people around to the purpose i create. the thngs is rather i am afriad of failure, of looking bad. it is a disease and a plague. it destroys possbilties, future and growth. it makes things degenerate , let be. the system in the world is such that in a world where everything is driven by effort and change, in order for that to happen, a shove is required. as i write this i am thinking of some people i know who are always talking about intentions, what they can be, the future however, their efforts do not seem to tally with their actions and all this time, they are still in the same situation.

yes and back to shoving, right now, looking back at where i was at, the impact of what i did, the shove in my life now is where i am at. i am fortunate, you say, i had people who stood for me, the influences 3 year then and now. thats true. however, if you were to look at my life clearly, this was the direction i had wanted to take in the first place. they just pointed the shortest cut to take and in all it's gratitude, may i remind you that i put in the effort myself and for that, i deserve to acknowledge that i did good.

Times are changing and after having dinner with a friend yesterday, i realise that he does not want to hear about what i have to say. he wants to hear what he wants to hear. he would like to be right. in his actions, plans and thoughts. like many people and myself included, selective hearing is also a disease. whatever he is, he thinks he will always be right. at this point, i think it is beginning not to matter to me. actually, i am wondering has it mattered at all? in all his confused scattered thoughts, i saw him in a well and like a frog, he was unable to see beyond that.

this then reminded me of a question asked (seems like a long tme ago) when he asked me ...if i were a goldfish in an ocean asking a turtle ... "where is the sea?"

and the turtle says.. you are looking at it
and the goldfish says....where? what???
and the turtle patiently says.. here, you are in it, the sea.
and the goldfish impatiently says.... i do not see anything
and the turtle smiles and says...u are in the sea.
and the goldfish, getting irritated says...u must be mad. i must be asking the wrong person.
and the turtle smiles and hugs the goldfish and says.....ok goldfish think what you want. my ride is here. i have gotta go. have a nice evening. :)

what love looks like

2007-11-05T18:50:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flRvsO8m_KI

New era arrives - private banking facilities for the simple man on the streets!

2007-10-26T17:59:00.000+08:00

Dear Friends,

Did you know that you can attain a return of greater than 8% per annum consistently on your investments? At GYC, we have been tracking each of our clients’ portfolio returns over the last 3 years, beginning in 2004 when we started operations. We are pleased to announce that more than 76% of our client accounts have been enjoying 8% to 40% annual returns on their investments.

GYC started out with a firm conviction that through sound portfolio management and disciplined execution, we can provide good returns for our clients while keeping risks low. Some of you have subscribed to this strategy as our clients and we are happy to celebrate with you the stellar results that we have all achieved over the last 3 years. As clients ourselves, we think that this is ample reason to celebrate, wouldn’t you agree?

Starting from this Sun 28 Oct 2007 in the Sunday Times, we will be running a series of advertisements to celebrate ours and our clients’ investment returns. The other advertisements are on:

Mon 5 Nov 2007 in TODAY newspaper

Wed 21 Nov 2007 in Straits Times ‘Money’ section

Mon 26 Nov 2007 in TODAY newspaper

The copy of our advertisement is attached for your information. It is our way of sharing our jubilation with you!

For those of you who have yet to become our clients and have more than $50,000 to invest, we are pleased to invite you to 1 of the 2 seminars we are holding on Thu 22 Nov 2007 and Wed 28 Nov 2007 to share how everyone can enjoy good returns through a sound investment strategy.

The seminars are free but admission is strictly for pre-registered guests only due to limited capacity, so please register early to avoid disappointment. Call 90032238 or e-mail your name and contact number to sarahkang@gyc.com.sg to register.For our valued clients, we look to your continued support and to another good year of returns as we steadily Grow Your Capital.

Warmest Regards, Sarah Kang

Today's question

2007-10-25T17:05:00.000+08:00

When investing your money, how do you ensure double digit returns every year?

send me an email at sarahkang1972@hotmail.com for answer and to subscribe for monthly newsletter.

when push comes to shove

2007-10-24T14:35:00.000+08:00

so last night, jin and i went for some hydrotherapy at the club. after 10 laps and feeling that my stiff legs and body just could not take anymore and the wanting to stop was so great, something in me made me push on. it is almost like an automatic response that triggered. and while doing the next 8 laps, i remember it as the same thing that pushed me to the finish line. I wonder if this could happen for work too.

Today, jac had a conversation about a new game and here i am sitting feeling a stirring in my belly. yes, when push comes to shove, i determine what I AM made up of.

oh yes oh yes

2007-10-22T12:57:00.000+08:00

i did it , my FIRST marathon. YES I DID IT for 10km and still i cannot believe it. and i will tell you what is that most amazing part. it was the last 300m towards the finishing line. when you see people on both sides cheering you on, the energy, the excitement and amount of good will. now, when i think about it bring tears to my eyes.... you see, i have never done anything more than to catch a bus in my life. and i walked all the way for my 2.4km in school. i do not run and much less ever thought in my life to do a marathon. and i did it in 1hr 28 mins.

and i tell you what it was that made the difference.
1. I was late. the race had already started and i had to stand by and watched the entire procession of women in red go pass me then i had to run to the starting point to start my microchip(to get my timing).
2. by the time i got to the starting line, i was the only one. i told myself can try to catch up...there should be some people who would be walking by now.
3. i told myself over-take one person at a time and i did.
4. i saw women of all shapes and sizes and especially some that were so hugh and still they were pushing forth (not stopping to walk).
5. i saw pregnant women walk/jog. and her hubby close beside her.
6. on both sides of me, women running and encouraging me and each other.
7. the smiles on the faces.

And, what made this event even more special is that ....i did it all by myself and i am so proud of me. To think that it is the same me that thinks that i am not able to, that i cannot do it, that i probably would not finish it.... i realize now that i do not give myself enough credit. that i do not acknowledge myself enough. that i always make it that it is no big deal. but THIS, this is something. i am proud of me. and I'M GOOD! I'M REALLY GOOD!

when i said I QUIT i meant...

2007-10-19T14:24:00.000+08:00

ok have been getting calls from people and i would like to clarify that when i said, I QUIT! , i meant this for a program that i signed up for.

Now, What is this program?
This program is called Basic Leadership Program (also known as BLP). it is a 9 months intensive program to push a person to stretch and expand oneself in the area of showing up as a leader.

Did i have fun? Yes.... and No.
Did i gain anything? Yes.
Would i recommend it? No.

still good

2007-10-17T02:03:00.000+08:00

it is still wonderful. this gorgeous, great, loving, attentive and affectionate man. and whatever it is, it feels right. he is wonderful to me and it makes me want to be a better person, girlfriend, partner. i love him. when i started loving me. it is right. at the same time, while allowing love to close in on me, i keep my eyes alert to the changes. i find myself sharper and more observant than ever. this time, i captain my own life. i make my choices and paths. this simple responsibility still makes me a little uncomfortable and fearful of not making an "easier" choice. i am alone in this still afterall, this is my road to take. love enlarges a person. makes them bigger. kinder, more compassionate. it radiates, shines, it is almost like you cannot take your eyes of it. it is almost a distinctive quality. like a light or a brightness. an aliveness. like a dance. almost magical except it sort of vibrates and moves. sounds a bit like music but different. anyway, whatever it is , it is still good. yesterday night, we went to our usual place at laguna and talked about...yes ..God, Jesus and buddisim, luck, history. it was interesting to find out where he was at and his thoughts. this journey with him is going to be an interesting one. so i here i am deciding to start a new blog about us.

http://ourincredibleride.blogspot.com/

verbal diarrhoea

2007-10-09T15:18:00.000+08:00

ok yes, finally, I QUIT! and i am officially taking a break and it feels so good to be free. and Yes , Freedom is a highly prized commodity. So here i am sitting at my table taking a break from completing all my paperwork. because i want to. because i feel it is right. because i wanna move on. it is almost descibed like a high and right now it makes sense.

So here what i found out about myself and others during the last 4 and a half weeks. it is,

1. i do not like to be threatened.
2. i cannot take orders and work together with people i am not in aligned with. this is fundamental.
3. i am highly protective of my freedom.
4. i see and now know what it means to change human potential into brillance. it is a matter of changing a person's mind about themselves and then giving them the skills, and prove to them enough about their ability for their greatness. (especially giving them opportunities to build their talents. thank you kel).
5. in an efficient organisation, a great leader knows how to keep the best people.
6. A great leader must know how to delegate his best people at the best of their abilities.
7. a leader requires THAT ability to align people to his goals. I have seen how it works and it is useful.
8. the difference between a leader and a great leader is that his ability to inspire such greatness that people want to follow. it is sort of like a confidence, an dream, an admiration, a trust
9. that everyone that i worked with had some special talent that can be used.
10 a great leader knows how to spot and develop it.

i think that is a lot more. gotta jot it down when i remember. now back to work. and it kinda jot and touched me hard when i saw the hands that went up when he asked,

- how many of you girls here at some level have a certain amount of admiration for sarah?
(all the girls)
- how many of you would like to see Sarah stop whinning and start to lead?
(all hands up)
- how many of you would go into battle with Sarah?
( 5 hands and when question asked 2nd time, no hands up).

Makes me laugh. yup, gotta watch that.

Quick mentions off the cuff:
Alex
Dionis
Dave
Soon
merry
Yixin
Rosli
eileen
Khim
Simon
Zoeane
esther

Thank you.

Numerology

2007-10-04T20:06:00.000+08:00

Something i pulled off the net using my birth date, month and year.

Your Life Path Number is 8

Your Life Path Number represents the path you should take through life and the talents and skills you have to make your journey a rewarding one.

You were born to lead and your Life Path will provide you with opportunities to express your God given talents. You will have to learn how to be an effective leader without becoming dictatorial. Success seems almost unavoidable for you, but it may not be in the form of finances. Indeed, your success may well be measured in terms of accomplishments, which could take on historical proportions

Your Life Destiny Number is 8

Your Destiny Number sheds light on those things you must accomplish in your life to be fulfilled.
You are destined to succeed in whatever arena you choose to enter. You were born to lead, and so long as you do not become dictatorial you should fulfill your destiny to its fullest.

Your Soul Number is 1

Your Soul Number describes your deepest desires and dreams and the person you truly want to be.

Those with the number 1 as their soul number are fiercely independent and have a desire to lead others. With the exception of their own, they are not team players. Nor do they take orders well

Your Personality Number is 7

Your Personality Number reveals the "external you"--the personality traits others will know you by.

A 7 Personality Number is the mark of a person deeply absorbed in the pursuit of spiritual and cosmic knowledge. 7s are intelligent, perceptive and introspective. It comes as no surprise that the 7 Personality is an introvert. 7 Personalities can be difficult to get close to. They have the air of a mystic about them and can be quite aloof. Also, 7s love their privacy. However, the 7 Personalities' wisdom and knowledge will draw people to them, and in the end they will realize sharing their knowledge is as rewarding as gaining it

Your Maturity Number is 7

Your Maturity Number reveals the person you will come to be--your true self.
A 7 Maturity Number marks a life lived following a path that is divergent from that of others. You will spend your life seeking the truth behind everything. In your later years you will continue to pursue knowledge of your inner-self and universal truths. People will seek you out for your knowledge.

Your Birthday Number is 5

This number is most influential between your 28th and 56th year. While it is not the most important number in your profile, it does have an effect on your Life's Path and Destiny.
You are curious about everything and above all else value your personal freedom. Change does not scare you. Indeed, you embrace it.

Recent events

2007-10-04T16:51:00.000+08:00

so here i am sitting at my table completing some work that was long overdue. My life as it is now is slow and i am intending to increase the pace. quickly. i miss the feeling of success and completion. i feel i have dwelling in something that were supposed to have upgraded me to another level and feeling a little short changed. this time, i am doing it my way. afterall, who knows best but myself. just completed a meet with an existing client and i feel that this is still my passion is most. to direct and lead someone make an intelligent decision in the area of their finances. fundamentals do not change and results have proven for themselves over and over again for years that consistency is always better than the occasional gain.

Today, i live my life after asking myself ..what do i really want? ... i see some clarity. and question i ask again is, how would i know? and i think, when it makes sense and resounds deeply in my heart. Yes, my heart is still for the world and i just checked, it still is. my passion lies in forwarding people in their lives. there are too many people and i think i will start with those around me first. my silent question is, how on earth do you want to make a difference when you conclude that you cannot be bothered? or do not even try to make a difference with the people around you? yes, my heart was recently wounded by careless words. yes , sometimes, i do hurt, i do anger but i silently learn to put it aside and still continue my existence to try to make a difference.

i will not be manipulated. today, i learn about trust, consequences , choices, to take a stand on my own, make my own choices - all these i knew before except now, these words take on a bigger meaning.

and i leave with this
"Words, in moments of grace can attain the quality of deeds"

4.52am

2007-09-27T04:49:00.000+08:00

that is the time now on my clock. I do not feel like sleeping. I have so many things on my mind i do not know where to start. at the end of the day, the only fundamental question remains... what do i really want? i took out my tcc/pos/blp wishlist and realised that my wish list is getting shorter and shorter. i am happier and lazier.

So the question is ... What do i really want?

about love

2007-09-24T00:30:00.000+08:00

Some say love it is a river That drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razer That leaves your soul to blead
Some say love it is a hunger an endless aching need
I say love it is a flower and you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed That with the sun's love In the spring Becomes the rose

Why do they always serve ONIONS with indian rojak and satay?

2007-09-20T12:41:00.000+08:00

An Onion A Day Keeps The Doctor Away
The health benefits of onions are frequently overlooked or even unknown. Containing powerful compounds such as Quercetin and Chromium, studies reveal that this kitchen staple has many hidden talents making it the diamond of the vegetable world.

Quercetin, which is recognised as being a more potent antioxidant than vitamin E, is a multi-tasking flavonoid which helps to keep the body in peak condition, aiding to fight a variety of illnesses ranging from the common cold to colon, prostate and breast cancer. Onions are an effective source of this increasingly valued compound; in fact, absorption of Quercetin from onions is twice that from tea and three times that from apples.

Onions also contain very high levels of chromium which helps maintain a positive hormone balance and to combat PMS.

Founder of the The Food Doctor, author, broadcaster and health journalist Ian Marber comments: “The term superfoods tends to be applied to nearly everything these days, but the humble onion does offer far more benefits than most vegetables owing to its potent antioxidant and probiotic effects.”

Experts believe that as little as two to three onions per week can have a significantly positive impact on health. And even better news, onions don’t have to be eaten raw to maximise their health benefits – Quercetin is relatively stable while being cooked so retains all its powerful goodness to aid overall wellbeing.

off the net

2007-09-18T01:58:00.000+08:00

Interesting and almost accurate description of how "Sarah" Relates to Other People. I was bored and starting mucking around with some astrology, numerology and horoscopic webbies and, some are so detailed(date, time of birth, name...etc). I was amazed. so many free stuff on the net.

Titled : How Sarah relates to people

Venus Square Jupiter with an orb of less than 1/2 degree

You may be overly self-indulgent and inclined toward excesses of eating, drinking, sex or anything which gives you pleasure. You would not be comfortable with someone who was too reserved. You can be quite extravagant both emotionally and financially.

Mercury Conjunct Neptune with an orb between 1 and 3 degrees

Your imagination is so powerful that, if you don't have a strong creative or spiritual outlet, you may at times be over-influenced by your own fantasies or those of others. Beware of gullibility. In the long run, telling the truth is in your best interest.

Mercury Sextile Venus with an orb of less than 1 degree

You are creative and charming. You speak well, live well and are fond of people who have taste, wit, good manners and share your aesthetic interests. Your emotional ties must also be on your intellectual level or your interest will soon begin to wane.

Mercury SemiSquare Uranus with an orb of less than 1 degree

Brilliant and original as you are, you can also be difficult and unpredictable. Close ties may complain they never know when you are going to show up or what you're planning next. You are easily bored and love people who can both stimulate and surprise you.

Mercury Sextile Pluto with an orb between 1 and 5 degrees

You are extremely persuasive and, perhaps, skilled at manipulating others to share your views. Your intuition is powerful and the research skills which may help you professionally also manifest in your private life. You know everyone's deepest secrets.

Venus Sextile Neptune with an orb between 1 and 5 degrees

However cool or cynical you may appear to be externally, you are extraordinarily sensitive and romantic. You are gentle and artistic and would rather do without a relationship than be part of one which does not measure up to your highest ideals of love.

so he asks, for the last 1 year, what did you learn?

2007-09-13T02:25:00.000+08:00

i met with alex today (for at least 5 hours). it is strange because he always appears, or rather contacts me at the moment i need someone the most. he called me and the next thing he says is, where are you?. Come down now. ( i was lying in bed feeling tired, angry and miserable - i felt i was not able to express what i wanted to say inside - it was tearing me inside out).

With Alex, i always feel safest, i trust him (almost completely- as i type this, i realise Jin is right. I do not trust and that i have to start from basics). today, i speak my mind about what i thought about my 9 month BLP program, FIM and also about the people i surround myself with and attempt to penetrate my superficial level of reactions and machines.

Today, we speak of intuition, a deeper inquiry beneath the smoke screen of life, happenings, beneath intents, words, visions, doings and into the recognising of whys and hows of alignments, organisations (why some will succeed and some will fail), power in collective agreement (creating it), ties ie. relationships (what can work/what will not), dependencies, people from the light or the dark(how they win, what they can use, what is the difference), people in general, a higher level of observation, learning, styles, effectiveness and workability, reality, results.

Today, sitting at mac cafe and having our coffees, i was thinking about his relationship with me. that it is the same and yet very different. i remember when we started, i asked that he be a coach, friend and mentor to me. except now, i see clearly the skills, foundations, artwork, freedom and mechanics that he directed to and in me, setting up my fundamentals. I am no longer afriad of the future. it is not gratitude that i have for him now. Instead, a feeling of a high level of respect. Yes, respect. Respect is not demanded of. it is given.

So he asks how do u gauge respect? today, i understand.

How coaching can help you reinvent and rejuvenate your life.

2007-09-10T00:40:00.000+08:00

Yes I made it. I did it! whoopee! last saturday i gave a 45mins talk on the topic above at NTU Alumni for the class of 2002,1997,1992 and 1987... i did great. I knew my audience to be amongst the ranks of CEOs, professionals and entrepreneurs (my company boss and also CEO himself is also of the class 1987 - he as not there...Thank God! ...i did however meet quite a few of his classmates) and at 40, Teo Ser Luck looks great! (benefits of being a sportsman)

ok i pulled it off and what really worked was that :
1. my team was on auto pilot and they just did what they did. they knew what to do!
2. they were having fun.
3. we ALL "commanded" the space. (we "demanded" it)
4. i put aside the part of me that said that "i was not good enough"
5. I was angry. i recognize the part of my being that said silently "do not step on my tail"
6. I increased my awareness and 5 senses.
7. i grounded my feet.
8. I had a great morning with Jin, lunch, teh alia and he sent me there. I love you dar!
9. we practiced. Soon, you make me look good. thank you.
10. there is no such thing as second chances!

What i loved most was
- the silence of the audience before they stood up to clap
- that many of them walked up to me later at the booth to tell me how they were moved and that they wanted to do something.
- that one of YC classmates said that he thought i was good.
- that the Dean, spoke of setting up a workshop.
- i knew that last saturday, even though it took up a large part of my weekend, I made a difference. :)

and he said

2007-09-05T00:53:00.000+08:00

i am so soft and comforting to him and that the world can be in chaos but when he holds me in his arms after a long day, nothing else matters.....sigh.... :)

i love my man!

i can only imagine

2007-09-03T16:12:00.000+08:00

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk...By Your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When Your face..Is looking at me

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for You Jesus
or in awe of You.... be still

Will I stand in Your presence.... or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah,
will I be able to speak at all

When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in front
I can only imagine

When all I will do....Is forever

about mirroring

2007-09-01T11:33:00.000+08:00

When you mirror someone, you enter into his spirit, his soul. Many people have difficulty reconciling the person right now with the person we want to be. thus the provocation. the task is to reflect the spirit of the ideal person they want to be. thereby letting them live the life of the person they want to be.

Last night

2007-08-28T12:39:00.000+08:00

i do not, not like anything about you. when you asked, and i said that i thought you were sensitive, it was at that moment that i was trying to remember when you made me frustrated with your not understanding. you keep saying that my words are powerful and they only touch you but only skin deep and not heart deep. i cannot help and wonder who it is you are comparing me to. i have more fight in me than you think. i want you to be happy and i am prepared to give you what you need to be that. that is the extend of my love for you. willingly.

On Love

2007-08-27T19:29:00.000+08:00

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep,
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, 'God is in my heart,' but rather, 'I am in the heart of God.'
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night,
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

- Kahlil Gibran 1923

i am tired

2007-08-27T19:14:00.000+08:00

and it is alright.
it is wonderful to work in a team.
the human mechanics is intriguing.
i am enthralled.
Having always work by myself, i decided that working with a team is fun.

I am the bearer of light.

my brother

2007-08-27T18:48:00.000+08:00

does not look like the kind of guy he is.
i do not know him. i understand him.
he is great.
his heart is bigger and keeps thudding slowly.
he is a big heavy sturdy animal.
he stands and scatches his head trying to make sense of his world.
puts his great hand down and tries to hold on to what is dearest to him.
he gets hurt and silently squeezes his heart, not saying a word.
like a beast in pain, he hangs on...to live...and does not know why.
his questions keep tearing at his heart. there were no answers.
he eyes speak of unbearable loneliness covered by his daily actions and chores.
his voice speak of sense and sensibilities. it does not waver.
his face is worn, it bears many battles.
he heart longs to find the something in all this.

Before death comes great victory.

Today, early in the morning, we celebrate his victory and flight.
My brother completed TCC.

Born in the year of a Rat

2007-08-20T19:49:00.000+08:00

Characteristics of a Rat
Charming and crafty, the Rat is the epitome of action and mental stimulation. Creativity, inventiveness and innovative thinking are second nature to them. We are drawn to the charming Rat who is always in the middle of the action. They are quick thinkers who really can quickly figure how to get out of a tight spot. The down side is they sometimes have little patience for those of us who can't keep up with them. They also have a restless streak which, if not satisfied, makes them hard to live with at times. The charming Rat acquires a large number of acquaintances, but only a select few ever make it to the Rat's inner circle. For them, he will do almost anything. For everyone else, it's just business.

Positive Traits:
Active, alert, attractive, charming gregarious, imaginative, inquisitive, intuitive, inventive, resourceful, shrewd, and venturesome. It is the first sign of the Chinese zodiac; so, it fittingly represents (initiating) action. Depend on the Rat to get things moving. There is constant mental activity with the Rat. Even when they appear to be resting, be assured their minds are working full speed. Most often they are devising a scheme to earn the most money with the least work.
The crafty Rat is resourceful. What they sometimes might lack in competence, they more than make up for with their quick-thinking, shrewdness and outright deviousness. Trust the Rat to make it through the maze to the cheese.

Their charm serves them well as they are very sociable and usually enjoy parties and clubbing. The Rat thus acquires a wide circle of friends, especially since they are normally attractive to members of the opposite sex.
The clannish Rat, however, is really a private person and, despite appearances, only allows a few people into their inner circle. They cherish those dearly and will do almost anything for them.

Negative Traits:
Crafty, critical, edgy, greedy, grouchy, high strung, impertinent, manipulative, ostentatious, reckless, secretive, and stingy.
Speaking of charm, my does the Rat have and use it. They are adept at gaining your confidence and learning your secrets while holding on to their own. Furthermore, they are not beyond using the information to their advantage.
The opportunistic Rat is great at turning on the charm and manipulating people. Why even bother finding your way through the maze when you can get others to go fetch the cheese?
Because they are constantly in their heads, they are often edgy and easily agitated. Getting along with people is no problem for the Rat but make no mistake about it, they do not tolerate incompetence.

Qualities Admired: Attractiveness and a sharp mind.

Pet Peeves: Idleness and incompetence.

leave me alone

2007-08-11T13:40:00.000+08:00

dead.

thats it

2007-08-10T13:32:00.000+08:00

i miss him. i really do. i am reminded about everything. he is not far from my mind. and i am numb. i am mad. i ran out of words to explain. i do not want to bother now. i just made my reality. life goes on................................................again.

What is the same in the following?
Break away
Break downs
Break ups
Break in
Break out
Break free
Break Ground
Break even
Break Off and ........
Break Wind

After FIM

2007-08-08T16:19:00.000+08:00

at my lift landing, he said the M word. Could not decide whether i heard what i was hearing or what he was saying. i know he loves me. i wonder is it enough? another part screams that i do not deserve it. from my usual companion - the i am not good enough.

Nothings going on

2007-08-03T11:33:00.000+08:00

thats right. it is on slow mo. things are good and i am as it is. I am craving a drama and lazy to create it and here is the report.

Dad - great. Supportive and attentive (the best it has been)
Mum - great (she is hardly at home and when she is, it is about some drama serial)
Vinny - gonna do tcc in aug(will assist 2 days) now often find him with Evan at chevy.
Jin - new job(never seen him work so hard before) so good to be with him. :) did cycling last weekend and even now can still feel the wind in my hair and sun on my face. Amazing.
Work - started. Closing everyday without fail (small ones though)
This weekend - bbq and FIM (Freedom in Money) Sat to Mon
Preview leading - taking a break (Soon and Dave did wonderfully) delicious. yummy!
NTU talk (about personal effectiveness) - 1 training session done. planning for a few more. People serious about picking up speaking tips, leave me a message and will sms when we have the next session.
BLP - intensive 7 days next week 12-19th
BLP mates - giants :)
10km GE - complete 5 km next week (and everyweek after that)
Colleagues - great (unofficial extended family) Meng, where are my fishballs?????
National day - office party then to swissotel.
September - salsa classes with Jin.
Oct 21 - GE 10km Run
Nov - my birthday and Ang kor Wat before it get torn down.
Dec - Standard chartered 10km

ok so i decided TODAY that i will do something meaningful everyday for myself, for someone else. Yesterday on a train, help a young indian couple push a pram from mrt to taxi stand.

Life then. What else is there? ok have a great day :)

my interest is piqued

2007-07-31T16:13:00.000+08:00

lucid dreaming
the ability to influence dreams in the direction we desire.

astra projection
the ability to travel non physical planes.

interesting. still needs some research on my part though.

in short

2007-07-20T14:31:00.000+08:00

I am back to work and yes it certainly is great and the amazing thing is the amount of results i am getting without putting in so much effort. I thought it also amazing that people are naturally attracted to working with me. thinking back 3 years ago, i was struggling to stay in this career. I amaze myself still and that is so wonderful about being in this life. Also, perhaps it is also because, i am putting aside preview leading for a while and therefore this creates the space for me to fully ulitilize my energy and skill in work.

Speaking of preview leading, once again, i have decided to allow myself the opportunity to speak for 45 mins on personal effectiveness and communication at the NTU alumni gathering and here i am thinking once again that maybe i am not good enough(want to run away). me scared.

Boyfriend has been wonderful, loving and supportive. he is now in the midst of career change and his new position is located in chai chee. yippeee (minutes from my place). Darling, you are an amazing addition to my life :) i love you.

As for health, i have been practicing for the 10km GE run and did a 2.5km jog last saturday morning supported by my bro and jin,one on my left and one on my right. :) even thinking about it now, makes me smile. thank you. also on that thought, to esther, zoeane, dionis and yixin, how are you beautiful ladies doing?

So i am thinking what to engage myself in next in the pipeline... Any ideas people?

SHOCK ME

2007-07-18T17:16:00.001+08:00

I am fucking bored!

testing

2007-07-17T18:52:00.000+08:00

my new laptop camera :)

world class leaders are attentive

2007-07-16T12:50:00.000+08:00

they reside in the moment.

Last thursday, i did my6th preview leading and it still feels like the first time. i was nervous and felt all sorts of things running in my veins. i was the first to arrive. it was intentional. i wanted to own the place. make it mine. and it was.

things started to order themselves. dionis, u held "together", everything. registration, corridor, room set up, people management. good work u did. Enjoy your holiday and smoochies. u lucky bitch!

people started trickling in , from the wave leaders to the guest. the registrations, checking in with the guests, the state they were in, creating an opening, listening, directing the energy flow. to energizing, aligning not only leaders (guest too), and all the while observing and checking everyone out. I knew who was doing what and what was going on. they were all in my space.

the last preview, i hurt myself with failure. i hurt myself with other people's opinions of me. i hurt. no words. speechless. i got angry at myself. then at others. i got pissed. started pushing . got up. yelling and threw shit around. and then..... started laughing at the whole thing. then i saw clearly that i, me, am empowered. i was meant for this. Even when odds are stacked against me. I, me, held the power to make or break this. the power of this realisation shocked me. hit me, my core.i could not breathe. i gave in.

last thursday (and since then), i stood with who i was, my truth, i had my feet firmly planted on ground, my eyes wide open and my ears sharp to the surroundings. i was insanely present. thinking back now, it did not take a lot out of me. it was natural. did not surprise. i sort of knew already.

world class leaders are attentive. they reside in the moment.

hang in there wave buddies

2007-07-16T12:49:00.000+08:00

even heros have the right to bleed

when warriors go to battle

2007-07-05T11:41:00.002+08:00

they put on their full armoury in preparation.

the Belt - of TRUTH
(center of your body)

Breast plate - of RIGHTEOUSNESS
(covers the heart - courage)

Feet - with PEACE
(your walk on earth)

Shield - of FAITH
(an act of the will in addition to the act of the understanding)

Helmet - SALVATION
(note : covers the head)

Sword- the WORD
(spokened, also most powerful weaponry)

- Ephesian 6 : 14

he says

2007-07-02T18:04:00.000+08:00

he says :
it is time to upgrade to chapter 2.
he loves me very much.
thinks that i brainwashed his nieces.
still thinks that eci is a cult.
will not participate in the masters swim meet if it is held at farrer again.
makes him unhappy if i am unhappy.
thinks that shrek is boring (and slept throughout)
will be supporting me for anything healthy - my 10km lah

i say :
i have not fully savoured chapter 1 yet.
i love him very much too.
his nieces are not monsters.
that he has his own cult.
want to compete, do not like being just spectator.
i am happy if he is happy.
shrek is funniee.
you have company. simon and alex may be there too.

signages i thought id never see :D

2007-07-02T13:56:00.001+08:00

i've had enough

2007-06-28T18:40:00.000+08:00

and it hurts.
self sabotage and i live my misery.
my words hold weight.
and i am afraid of the consequences.
if i do not break through soon, i might as well break away.
my test asks too much.
i do not recognise the path.
my light flickers.
i am breaking down.
my paradox stretches my truth.
and tears me apart.
i am letting go again.
i lose control. today.
and i am sorry.
forgive me.

I am a warrior of light, nobody wins all the time but the courageous win in the end.

Checking in

2007-06-25T17:47:00.000+08:00

Hey Allan,
Always still here and yes I am good. I am now in the midst of completing a 9month long course on BLP which is the Basic Leadership program and set up a couple of goals. They are about Work, On relationship, On health, On community, On enrolments. I am once again catch sight of my "Xian" personality that always pops up when I see work. While seeing it for myself clearly, I smile at it and still head forward. I think I am in a good position and my vision for my life is to constantly evolve, inspire and forward.

I am seeing someone now for the last 2 plus months. Check my pics on my other blogs to see him for yourself. I think I am ok with him for now.

Another new project in my life is that I have taken up a position as a preview leader, which I am learning so many things , ie crowd control, words used, generate a listening, drawing the crowd, bringing them in. ( it is all in the words used, who I am being at the moment, intuition/sense and my conciousness to read people especially reaction from crowd, my choice of topic and how long on it for maximum impact. Fun :)

And about health - your fav topic. btw are you still doing your martial arts? - I am signing up for a Great Eastern Women's 10KM in October and looking forward to it. More fun yah?

Gotta catch soon.
Over and out buddy :)
S

i am

2007-06-21T13:12:00.000+08:00

I am the rainmaker.
I am the warrior of light.
I am inspiration.
I am a woman.
My inspiration comes from love, and because i love, i am given plenty.
My flesh may be weak but my heart is big... and beats with resounding thuds.
I am tall, because i sit on shoulders of giants.
When i speak, love, faith and hope appears.
I am beautiful because i am looking at you.
I am vunerable and i allow it.
I come in peace. I am with you.
My light is bright and shines when you think you cannot see.
I hold your hand. I am here.
I sing you songs and it feeds your soul.
I am life and abundance.
I am more than i appear.
Because i am.......You.

about walking - paulo coelho

2007-06-18T18:29:00.000+08:00

Everything works out fine.

1] You have already arrived. So, feel pleasure at each step and do not worry about things that you still have to face. We have nothing before us, just a road to be traveled at each moment with joy. We are always arriving, our home is the present moment, and nothing more.

2] For that reason, always smile while you walk, Even if you have to force it a bit and feel ridiculous. Get used to smiling and you will end up happy. Do not be afraid of displaying your contentment.

3] If you think that peace and joy always lie ahead, you will never manage to achieve them. Try to understand that they are both your traveling companions.

4] When you walk, you are massaging and honoring the earth. In the same way, the earth is trying to help you to balance your organism and mind. Understand this relationship and try to respect it – may your steps have the firmness of a lion, the elegance of a tiger and the dignity of an emperor. ( my favourite part)

5] Pay attention to what is going on around you. And concentrate on your breathing – this will help you to get rid of the problems and worries that try to accompany you on your journey.

6] When you walk, it is not just you that is moving, but all past and future generations. In the so-called “real” world, time is a measure, but in the true world nothing exists beyond the present moment. Be fully aware that everything that has happened and everything that will happen is in each step you take.

7] Enjoy yourself. Make it a constant meeting with yourself, never a penance in search of reward.

Interesting stuff you find on the internet.... and for my extended family members,

i have started working.

:)

what did i use?

2007-06-12T19:15:00.000+08:00

Techniques i used during the last preview :

1. Change in personality - in the form of confidant
2. Hot spots : up, up, down or down, down, up (normally used by commedians)
3. Monodialogue technique
4. Pre-empt - for hard to accept topics
5. Engage audience participation : eye contact, personal connection, create affinity

and a whole lot of charm!

results : >50% registrations (the next game is 75% registrations)

you have my heart

2007-06-12T17:15:00.000+08:00

Sarah :
Just saw how much you must have decided to love me to stand for me as who you are. I love you Alex. You are my light. You have my heart.

Alex :
Thank you! This is the greatest gift that any mentor can ask for. To have a place in your heart. I love you too. :)

4.26am

2007-06-09T04:24:00.000+08:00

and i can't sleep. just got back from preview leading training and shared a bot of shiraz with soon and lin. My dar is sleeping and i am sitting here on my bed reading the latest stats about Singapore, about living in singapore. Do you know that the average monthly income per singaporeans is $3,903/mth? and in the following industries, the average income are as follows :

Manufacturing $4,903/mth
Construction $2,828/mth
Wholesale retail $3,375/mth
Hotels $1,531/mth
Information and Communications $4,982/mth
Financial Services $8,227/mth ( yep! i am positioned correctly)
Real estate $3,637/mth

There are 4.5mil people living in singapore. out of which 3.6mil are Singapore citizens and residents.

For Cinema lovers - in the month of april 2007, 1.06mil people went to the cinemas

The current amount of monies in circulation as of April 2007 = 17,635mil (which is equavilant to about 17.6billion) btw 1 billion has 9 zeros.

Since March 2007 there were 1,690 male babies born and 1,625 females. (almost 1:1)

In the month of april 2007 , 1767 couples got married

and if i understand correctly, there are currently 1.7mil people working in singapore currently.
out of which, only 200,000 earn more than 5K/mth and the government's intention is to invite 2.5mil expats here in the next few years - their salary scales are estimated to be more than 10K/mth.

looking at the above information, i am repositioning myself to fully maximise my resources and time. i am grateful and appreciative for good mentors and LUCK ( is just - Labour Under Correct Knowledge).

life is fluid. Changes are nessecary. however, in a world of movement and flow and opportunities, some things remains the same. i continue to honour my truest self.

what is in a name?

2007-06-09T03:38:00.000+08:00

With people around me changing names, it triggered me to think about my own and decided to start a small and quick research on what is a sarah? and these are the results :

Wikipedia
The Hebrew word sarah indicates a woman of high rank and is sometimes translated as "princess" or goddess, or "high holy one".

In Rabbinic literature
Sarah was the Wife of Abraham, being the daughter of his brother Haran. She was called also "Iscah" because her beauty attracted general attention and admiration. She was so beautiful that all other persons seemed apes in comparison. Even the hardships of her journey with Abraham did not affect her beauty.

According to another explanation, she was called Iscah because she had prophetic vision. She was superior to Abraham in the gift of prophecy. She was the "crown" of her husband; and she was the only woman whom God deemed worthy to be addressed by Him directly, all the other prophetesses receiving their revelations through angels.

On their journeys Abraham converted the men, and Sarah the women. She was called originally "Sarai", i.e., "my woman of high rank", because she was the princess of her house and of her tribe; later she was called "Sarah" = "woman of high rank" because she was recognized generally as such.

The Talmud lists her as a prophetess.

Hebrew śārâ, a princess, feminine of śar, prince; see śrr in Semitic roots.

Bible names dictionary
Sarah, lady; princess; princess of the multitude

I like my name. say my name. say my name. :)

What the pink dress means to me now

2007-06-06T18:00:00.000+08:00

It has evolved. I embrace it now. I understand the mechanics for it and love it for what it stands for. The selfish me who wants nothing more than to be one of the joneses. Struggling to have and have. Take it all away and I stand with nothing much. I am still nothing much except now I choose differently. Love does that to people and I am no different. I am in love. I choose to be.

This, the beauty of living in this world. The various colors of green, blue, yellow, red. It is vibrant. Breaks my heart. The silence then the sound of the rustling leaves preparation just before the rain. Your beautiful smooth golden skin resting on me. the cottony feel of your shirt. The smell of you after your workout. I am completely besotted.

Today I ask for nothing. Just be. My darling you are wonderful. I love you and thank you for your deep affection for me. it is perfect. I am overwhelmed.

I wear pink now and it looks great on me. it is one of my favourite colors.

just breathe

2007-06-06T17:58:00.000+08:00

I do not need to understand, to know. Looking beyond your skin and bones. I see you. You are completely acceptable to me. There is nothing more or less that I want to change in you. Something changed in me. I must have given up something big for this. Must be me.

I love it when you turn your face towards me and kiss me unexpectedly.
I love it when you wrap your arms around me from behind and put your head on my shoulders and kiss my nape.
I love it that you make it a point to be a friend to my friends.
I love it that u always give me surprises.
I love it when u stare at me thinking that I am not aware of it.
I love it when I wake up with my head resting on your chest and your fingers in my hair.
I love it when I seat myself down in your car and u always pull me to you to kiss me deeply to say hello.
I love it when u hold my hand when driving.
I love it especially when u do not drink and prefer to do your running and yet hang out with me and my friends at bala.
I love it when u breathe.
I love it when u call me and tell me that u love me everytime.
I love it when u look at me passionately and fumble on your words when u whisper that you are so glad to have met me.
I love it when you embrace my fragility and give me space to be vunerable.
I love it that u remember the smallest things about me, even the way we met and how and what colors.
I love it when we are together.
I love it when u share your heartbeat with me.
I love it when we fly in this ordinary extraordinary world.
I love it that we have our song.
I love it that you are concerned about how my folks think of you.

You, my angel in disguise. Every moment. Every beat of my heart sings. You complete me.